User blog:Wikidude135/Fanmade ERB: Princess Peach VS Lara Croft
Here's my newest ERB. I was really passionate about this one for some reason. and i hope you can enjoy it too. I spent a lot of time working on this one. Epic Rap Battles of History! Princess Peach! VS! Lara Croft! Begin! Peach: Hi sweetie~ I’m here to make a scene. I’m a soon to be queen, pink, pristine machine. Don’t get fooled by my name. I’ll take a bite out of you. You have LGTB controversy? Oh, Boo-hoo-hoo. So your live-action movie wasn’t such a smash? Well, based on all the other video game movies, you should’ve done the math. What’s with all the treasure and the traps and bones? Do you just wanna cash in on Indiana Jones? Croft: Shut up! I’m on a level you could NEVER reach! I'm a Crofty one, you stupid son of a peach! I get extra bonus points, just for being hot. Armed with a pistol, I can defend myself. You can NOT! You wouldn’t need that fat plumber if you had actual guards! I mean, seriously, finding some can’t be THAT hard! My lines cut worse than the Curse of the Sword. You’re just another damsel in distress, that makes people BORED! Peach: OH! Ch-chill, please. No need to be so rough. Y-you shouldn’t underestimate me. I can be tough. Gamers have been loving me since my birth. I’m a proper princess, for what it’s Toadsworth. Croft: You STILL want to battle? I think you got that wrong. Check the list of hip games. The world moved on. I can tell from your emotions, that it’s me you can’t take. Now go back to your castle. I really took the cake. Peach: OOOOOH! That’s it! Now i’m pissed off! I’m not holding back anymore, Lara Croft! You think you’re so cool going into temples full of rubies? The guys playing your games only care about your boobies! You’ve never met a man who wants to put their penis up ya! While I have Mario, and Luigi, motha—*ping*! You may think you're a tomb raiding, super badass. But you’re just british bitch with a bad ass! Hello, Dumb-Dumb! Do you know who I am? I'm the most amazing princess, I'm the master of glam! The real reason you exist is to make Core a quick buck! Never shed a tear? I really don’t give a truck- load of Toads who’re here to help be my servants! You're not going to win, why can't you be observant? Even Nathan Drake is better than you. AND HE’S A DISGRACE! The gloves are off, Lara. NOW GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FACE! (Peach slaps Lara across the face.) Croft:.........Hahahaha. And I thought I was being harsh. After I win, I’m gonna rake in all the money! I’m not the one who’s rapping koopa troopa poop, honey. You may be a princess, but I'm the one who’s gonna rule. And when I'm done, you’ll get to be my new footstool. WHO WON? WHO’S NEXT? YOU DECIDE! EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY! Who Won? Princess Peach Lara Croft Category:Blog posts